drive ok. took the disney exit. drove some more. then more. then turn here. then ok over there. more. get to disney toll. woman sees dog tells me i don’t have to pay for parking. she says, about the kennel, do you know where you are going? i say, absolutely no idea. go stright, then right lane, then reach light, then make left, the on the right. good thing b/c signs are small and there are many road forks and if you take the wrong one you are screwed and you end up in a maze.
found kennel. ok. hated leaving belle there. had to leave.
many turns to get back to wherever the parking i passed was (seriously, just let kennel users park at the kennel and then bus us over to the trolley which takes us to the monorail which takes us to the entrace. but no, no kennel parking. which means many many many turns and finally i get to park. Goofy, Row 48. trolley, monorail, get to disney… get a pin that says “Happy Birthday” and then they write your name on it. Basically you wear it all day and just about every Disney staff menber is forced is kind enough to wish you a happy birthday. aside from free admission the one perk i got was that one of the beverage vendors was nice and gave me a free diet coke. i’m sure if the Disney people has seen her she would have been reprimanded and had the $2.50 deducted from her salary.
i take a pic of the sign that says Space Mountain is closed. i get really close to take another picture, this time with my middle finger on it. i realize that this is probably illegal and if caught i might end up in the secret Disney underground jail. i actually was nervous. took pic, rushed away.
went on some rides. where they always so short? anywhere from 5 minutes to 40 minutes in line for a 5-minute ride. there were some new rides. i went on Splash Mountain and realized how old I was b/c I remember going to Disney before that ride was there so it was a big deal next time I went to ride this new ride that is now, well, old. warning you may get wet. it’s like 90 degrees so i’m waiting and waiting. the few drops did not cool me off much.
then (i’m still in Frontier Land) i go to Thunder Mtn Railroad. Which I DID NOT ride. Because the wait time was 60 minutes. no disney ride is worth an hour wait.
in the first couple of hours, on Main St and tomorrowland, i’m having a good time. although tomorrowland’s rides are pretty ;ame (esp with Space Mtn closed). the best actually is simply getting to disney and being happy to be there especially when you get the first glimpse of Cinderalla’s castle.
was the haunted mansion always this short? was Peter Pan always without words? was the Pooh ride always here – because I loved that one. actually, the best of the “lands” for me was Fantasy Land. even road the Mad Hatter tea cups and snow white adventures. and of course, gotta go on It’s A Small World (i have a pic of me and my uncle there from 1975).
time went by quickly. lots of walking. lots of sweating. i ate a burger. awful fries. i ate a personal pizza. good, likely because i was starving. not dissing on disney food per se, but it’s not very good. except for the ice cream parlor on Main St. my first and last meals at Disney that day were servings of Mint Chocolate Chip (which I am now convinced is my new fave ice cream flavor). at one point i had a frozen coke just to cool off.
after like 7 hrs there i’m like ok, i’m going. but they have closed off sections to get ready for the fireworks and people have lined up so i figure ok, stay for the fireworks. especially because i absolutely adore fireworks. the ones at disney, over the castle, should be good. and they were. totally my favorite part of the day. then down main st before the last parade started – i want to go and i want to get my dog.
crowded monorail. full tram thing back to Goofy. find car easily. sit in car and enjoy a/c. wonder how to get back to the kennel. it’s dark now, i shouldn’t drive in the dark, i swear, and my windshield is dirty and i am out of washer fluid. ok, here i go, i’ll just look for the signs for the kennel. ok, still looking. let’s try this way, exit, nope, now i’m totally stuck on some road turning into major road that will lead to highway. was there a tiny opportunity back there to turn around? fuck this. make very big illegal uturn across the median. go back thru the entrance, follow magic kingdom signs, oh shit, ended back up in the Car Park (which for whatever reason i kept calling Car Park and not Parking Lot). many turns. pull over and call kennel like where the fuck are you? they’re like, from the hess station? i’m like, no, i’m in the car park and have already gone in circles. head back to the exit and when you get on that long road, look for the teeny “turnaround” part where you can head back to MK, watch for it b/c the sign is just about invisible and is not lit so you must squint in the dark. ok, back thru the toll yet again. some fork comes up and i don’t know where to go exactly, i swear the signs cannot be read unless you stop right in front of them (ever hear of large white letters or glow in the dark, disney). red signs with tiny and crowded lettering – not so good at 10-whatever at night. oh shit, should have gone right in the fork. here we go again. i don’t even remember how many more turns and shit. i may have gone thru the toll plaza AGAIN, third time. this time take right fork in road. lalala. says i’m on the right road to the kennel. there’ a light. i see no sign so i keep going. remember too late, oh shit, i remember now that 10 hours or so ago, the lady at the entrance had said when you get to the light make a left. oops, had forgotten that after walking miles in heat, standing in lines, being dehydrated and i’m exhausted. must turn around again. pull over, let bus pass, uturn # i-lost-count. now i know where i am going. finally make it back to the kennel (which incidentally has a sign like in front of it that is barely visible at noon–just appears!–let alone 10pm).
i get my dog. we hit the road. we get back in under 2 hours. neither one of us wants to return anytime soon.
so, my thoughts at Disney:
I am too old for this
This is not as “happy” as i remember it to be
Man, teenagers suck and should be required to shut the fuck up
They need more diet coke stations
Am tired of getting lost – I just want my dog and take us home!
and, since it was my birthday, and there i was, of course, thinking of what was wrong and not what was right (this was after a decent morning, i swear)… i thought of the song lyrics that have always appealed to me and the bold part, with a couple of grammar tweaks, should be my epitaph:
Maybe I’m just too demanding
Maybe I’m just like my father too bold
Maybe you’re just like my mother
She’s never satisfied
why do we scream at each other
this is what it sounds like when doves cry
and of course, i’m like, it’s my birthday. and i’m trying hard to be ok but i can’t help with the usual thoughts of what’s wrong, what’s missing, what could be better…
i always think “Oh, if I could have [this] or if [this] would change, things would be good.”
Hence:
Here lies Gisele
She was never satisfied
(for the record, i can actually be satisfied, for the most part, probably never fully, unless, of course [this] or [this] happens. so, here is Gisele. She seemed to be picky. She was stubborn. But most of all, she spent most of her life, really really scared.)
