i’m not sure it’s breaking and entering if the person has a key, but it sure as hell is robbery 2008, May 17
4 days before i was to start my job i was in a great mood. i hadn’t felt that good in so long, like finally, sign of relief, things were falling into place… maybe, just maybe, this life thing, well, it might be something i could do. or at least not totally fuck up again.
i left the house for a little over 2 hours in the afternoon. i returned to an apt missing my nice tv, a small dvd player, my laptops, and here’s where i cry: both my external hard drives, which had every file, every picture, every everything. thousands of pictures. anything i had ever written. dozens of software programs. everything. oh, and this is great, i had left the computer on, with me logged on, since i would be right back and all…
of course i freaked out immediately. i had never had this happen to me and i was in shock. i gathered myself together best i could so i could handle what needed taking care of immediately. like calling the police and having them come over and filing a report. then i was scared that since the computer had been on that the person who had it might get into something and end up with access to my banking info. so, with 20 minutes to closing, i rushed to the bank and closed my account. while driving back from the bank, on my way home to wait for the landlord so i could tell him what happened and so he could change my locks, i called S and had her change my email passwords. i went home (though i can’t call it “home” anymore) and waited. i of course had talked to my mom a couple of times, because who else was i gonna cry to. i talked about not feeling safe and could she please visit b/c i didn’t think i could sit in that apt by myself and not lose it. i talked about how i need a rottweiler. and a gun. the landlord got back from wherever he was and i told him what happened and he was all shocked and apologetic and was sorta pointing the fingers at neighbors and such.
except this is what i now know. he is a liar and a scam artist and obviously a thief. the house is in foreclosure, which he of course did not tell the tenants. there had been a previous break-in in the building before (wow, surprise). the man lied to my face about a million things. so basically a week after this incident, i talk with other tenants and we all put everything together and compare notes and all that and we all think he did it. and that he has done it before. and that he is a horrible person. and a slumlord. and a liar. and, of course, a thief. in my apt he even miraculously figured out how the perp had broken in. made me doubt myself, that i had left a window unlocked and so the person could reach in and open the door. i was in shock the day it all happened. so i didn’t link everything up. things he said. like “it wasn’t me.” like pointing at others and lying about them. and totally lying about when he was home. the neighbors knew when he was home. and basically he was there when my shit got stolen, and he left just shortly before i came back.
the next day he was doing what he has been doing for weeks, packing up his pickup with junk to take to atlanta. no one has gotten a straight answer about that, what’s gonna happen to us, etc. when i got there (i spent the night at S’s) i saw that he had most of the truck loaded and i thought, oh how strange that he already has a tarp on everything, you usually do that last. i also remember thinking, is it going to rain, b/c he’s left before without a tarp. i guess this time he wanted to protect his stolen property.
there are other details that point to him, more damning ones to add to the list. and there he was, asking questions about what happened as if he didn’t know, saying how bad he felt, how he would expect me to move out and he wouldn’t blame me. he even had the nerve to say ‘i’ll help you pack.’ i just didn’t know he HAD already packed up some of my stuff. stuff that went to atlanta with him. stuff that he might sell or pawn for very little money, when he could have pretended to find some of the stuff and hell, ask me for a reward and get more money. i kept saying how what i really wanted back were my hard drives, because i wanted all those pictures, because with that drive i could use another laptop and put my stuff in it and recreate what i lost. the least he could have done is return those. i would have paid. i would even have been stupid enough to believe him if he had said he found them in the street. he even took the damn cooling pad.
i have felt so stupid today. stupid for picking that place to live–since tha tone time in sf when i couldn’t find an apt in the big housing crunch, i have been terrified of never finding a place to live again. it leads me to do things like take the first place i see b/c then it’s taken care of and i have a place. i should have known better. i knew the guy was weird, but i didn’t pick up a ‘will steal your stuff’ vibe. i guess he’s just been lying and hustling for too long. still, i tell myself, i should have known better. i should have known better. i should have done better. stupid, stupid, STUPID. the lying to my face and me standing there like a fool really makes me feel like the dumbest person on the planet.
so basically on friday (a week and a day after the robbery), i came home from my first week of work–my first workweek in a long time. i was exhausted and also like, wow, look at that, i managed to work for a week, and i’m doing a good job, and everyone’s been super cool and i get scared b/c right now omg i totally love my job. and that just isn’t possible. so i get out of the car and my neighbor says, hey, come here, so check this out… and he tells me how an appraiser came by and checked out all the apts. how the place is in foreclosure. how it had changed names in january trying to buy time. how there was to be a foreclosure in april but a 30-day extension was granted. how basically the bank could just take over the apt. make us leave or raise our rents or who knows. how we might come home and have our doors locked and have no access to the apts b/c the bank has taken over and done that so that the landlord will not have access to the building. how they have been trying to serve him with papers but they can never get him at home. how no one was ever warned of this, how this is a shock to all of us, but there it is, public record, no lie.
so now i see atlanta as the landlord being on the run. i know i will never see my security deposit. and when i learned everything, i thought, no way am i giving this guy any more money, no way will i pay june rent. go ahead and sue me if you want. and then i realized, uh uh, what i really have to do is get the hell out of there. immediately.
so, nice that i had house- and cat-sitting lined up anyways. b/c this means that as of today most of my clothing is in this house. i can’t get to my apt one day after work and deal with the repercussions of a foreclosure. anything can happen, and i won’t even be around to see or hear or get stuff together or anything. i have also taken things out of the apt that he still might steal. and i am actually pretty scared that i might go in there at some point and have my furniture gone. he is that low. he is that pathetic.
i got into gear. i have just been throwing things in the car and getting them out of the apt.
i also called a few places and saw another apartment that i totally love, is in great condition, is in the same neighborhood i like, is even closer to starbucks. fingers crossed. the place is really sweet. the place is more the kind of place i deserve. the kind of place i should live in. not settling. growing up. a real job. a real place. a real life.
things have been rocky. the stress of unemployment took its toll big time, and by big i mean extra big as in my clothes don’t fit and i have a hard time figuring out what to wear to work because i can’t button pants. as in, sometimes things have gotten dark, but i have managed, somehow, to my incredible surprise, to be pretty ok. and then this shit happens and i freak but now i’m like, fine. karma kicked my ass. several lessons learned. time to go create a new home, a nice place.
as for the job, i hope it continues to be cool and that i continue to love it. i work for a major cable network. i write fun copy. and a big part of my job is to eat candy. (does not aid in weight loss, but cracks me up). and my coworkers are pretty awesome. oh, and we have a potluck every month, with some sort of fun theme. i am actually participating and am thinking i will even cook a big dish for everyone. yes, cook. and, get this, i get feedback on my work, i get told i’m doing a great job, my boss has an actual interest in my career development, and the girls that sit around me are so funny that next tuesday we are having ‘high heels’ day and all wearing our tallest/thinnest stilettos so we can all suffer together and help each other out and so we can encourage this one girl to wear the heels she bought but is too scared to wear. that is what i call solidarity.
i already have my shoes picked out. they’re somewhere in one of my bags of stuff. today they are out of the apartment, and so am i. all i can do is hope that everything works out. i’d like a new home by june 1, i’d like it to be the apt i saw today because i really like it, i’d like to get to some sort of healthy weight, i’d like to smile at actually getting a paycheck, i’d like to love my job…
i’d like things to work out.
wish me luck.
