Finally 2007, February 19

I knew they were coming, but it sucks all the same. He said the EXACT 4 words I knew he would, the words I dreaded for months now, finally arrived:

“Please Leave Me Alone.”

So it’s ALL over which means I have no idea how to continue anything, how to live, how to die, nothing. And so now, this, ALL of it, everything, my entire life, has to be OVER. This changes everything and makes me sadder and emptier and most of all stupider and completely ashamed, stupidly broken and with actual chest pains, hurting and so, so very ashamed, more than anyone can even begin to imagine. He finally hates me, really hates me, and wishes to really erase me, already has, like I never existed. So cold. So mean. And so appropriate. I know what I am and most of all what I am not. And so it is. Over. Everything, over. Done. Gone. Bye.